


Stay Away (But I Keep Coming Home to You)

by wonker8



Series: Don't Hurt Me [5]
Category: Avengers Movie-verse
Genre: 12 and holding reference!, 4th Wall Breaking, Comfort part of hurt, Flashbacks, M/M, One-Sided Love, Redemption, Truth shall come out!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-09
Updated: 2012-08-09
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonker8/pseuds/wonker8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 people who hunted Bruce down and the 1 that Hulk and Bruce hunted down together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Away (But I Keep Coming Home to You)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking through it to the end and supporting me. You guys are all amazing, and I hope to Odin that this part makes it all worthwhile.

1.  
There was something calming about being on the run again. It brought him back to his roots, reminded him of the time when he couldn’t rely on anything but himself. Remind him of the days when all he could do was run, and hope that the world never caught up to him. When SHIELD pretended to not know that he was there because he hadn’t been dangerous enough at the time. Remind him of the time when he believed himself to be all alone. But that wasn’t quite the truth. Because right now, he was relying on the small tips and pointers that Clint had left Bruce when they were still together.

_“You’re too predictable, Freckles,” Clint said with a laugh. “You can’t just run to a nearby third world country! That’s the first place everyone’ll start looking for you!”_

_“Is that how you guys found me?” Bruce asked, flicking the tip of Clint’s nose. “Because I was too predictable?”_

_“Pretty damn much,” the archer said. “I mean, come on! Do you know how easy it is to find someone in a third world country who wants to make quick bucks by giving information? And after that, you went off and became a doctor. Way to be obvious, Bruce! You’re practically yelling at the whole world where you are. Of course everyone’ll know it’s you if a miracle doctor appears in a third world country!”_

_Bruce raised a brow. “Then what would you suggest?”_

_“Well…”_

Bruce tried to smile at the rather angry looking customer. Even if it was Clint’s suggestion, Bruce really should have known better than to find a job that involved angry people, though. Who knew landscaping would be such a hard job?

“I’m sorry; I should have realized my mistake,” the ex-doctor said softly, trying to appease her. “I hadn’t meant to make a mess out of your feng shui.”

The woman, however, was not at all appeased. She began to yell, screaming at Bruce about something or another. He quickly learned to just tune her out, in case she caused a spike in his heart rate.

This really was a bad idea.  
*  
The landscaping job had been a pretty simple job to agree to. They didn’t keep any record of who did what, just a record of what job was asked and how much they were paid for it. They didn’t keep track of their workers, so Bruce had no worries about being tracked. It was perfect for Bruce. Amazing how easy it was to get under-the-table jobs in a developed country. It was one of the many lessons that Clint had told him of.

How ironic was it that Clint’s advice was the only thing preventing Bruce from being dragged back to the world of guilt? At least here, no one constantly reminded him of who he was, what he had lost, what he had done. It didn’t mean that he didn’t lie awake at nights, going over every detail in his mind. It didn’t mean that his mind whispered to him from time to time, reminding him of all the twists and turns that led him to where he was now. And when from time to time he looked up and thought he saw a flitting glimpse of Clint, or caught the wisps of his scent, it was all he had to not bolt after the image, apologize his guts, and hold the archer in his arms.

The people by his side was what made things worse sometimes. They would look at him like he was a freak, almost like they knew who he was despite the fact that the one who got public coverage was Hulk, not Bruce Banner. They would pat his shoulder and give him pitying looks, almost as if they knew what he was going through. Almost like they pitied him.

It was nice to be alone.

It didn’t last. Well, of course, it didn’t last. Peace never lasted in the world. Especially not when the Black Widow was tracking you.  
*  
“Natasha,” he acknowledged when he walked into the small shack that he rented.

She tilted her head a little towards him. “Nice haircut,” she noted. Bruce thought she was being much too nice, seeing that he was practically bald now.

_“Change my hair?” Bruce asked, laughing. “Isn’t that clichéd?”_

_“As clichéd as it sounds,” Clint said as he put on a wig with long, wavy auburn hair. “Changing your appearance is one of the easiest ways to keep undetected. You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve escaped undetected all because I put on a wig and a dress.”_

_Bruce sputtered a bit at that. “A dress? Really?”_

_Clint pouted. He then tilted his head down, forcing him to look up at Bruce through his fluttering eyelashes. “I think I make a pretty woman, don’t you?”_

_The doctor just shook his head and laughed._

Natasha resumed staring at the dust that covered the shack. When she didn’t say anything more, Bruce let out a soft sigh. This was rather familiar. After all, it had been the Black Widow who convinced him to help with the Avengers Initiative the first time around. Why not send her again?

“I’m not coming back,” he told her firmly. He didn’t ask her how she tracked him down. She probably wouldn’t tell him anyways.

Natasha didn’t answer. She just continued to examine the room, as if waiting for the answer to the world’s problem to fall out.

“Why are you here?” he tried again.

Finally, Natasha turned to face him. “You’ve gotten better at hiding. It actually took me a month to track you down here.” There was a pause as she considered whether to say the next part or not. And almost reluctantly, she forced out, “Did _he_ teach you?”

“He?”

Her eyes narrowed.

Of course Bruce knew who she was referring to. What he didn’t understand was why Natasha was having trouble saying his name. Before, the two of them were the closest of friends. And now, because of Bruce, their friendship had deteriorated as well. But didn’t that go for everyone? Because of Bruce, because Bruce never cleared up the misunderstanding, Clint couldn’t fit in. Maybe that drove Clint to Wade’s arms.

Who was he kidding? He had no one but himself to blame for pushing Clint away. He had no one to blame but himself for hurting Clint, which was probably what led to the archer’s ultimate betrayal.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Bruce said softly. He found himself analyzing the dusty floor. “You shouldn’t blame it on him.”

There was a small scoffing noise, and Bruce looked up at Natasha. She was walking around now, looking carefully at the dust, considering whether it would be worth it to sit down or not. Although she looked to be intent on picking out a place to sit, he knew that she was listening to him.

“I broke his heart first, you know,” he continued. “Told him that he didn’t mean anything to me. Because I loved Betty. Isn’t that the damnest thing? She called to tell me that she was engaged. And I begged her to take me back. The next day, Clint’s asking me why I agreed to go out with him when I loved her. So we came to a mutual agreement. He’s better off with Deadpool anyways. They look better toge-”

He honestly didn’t see the punch coming. Although looking back, he supposed that should have been as obvious as her red locks. Bruce’s face whipped so fast to the side that he felt the muscles in his neck pull uncomfortably. And before he could recover, he was shoved against the wall, her fists clenched tightly around his collar as she pressed him hard against the wall with all her weight. He could feel her red hair against his skin, could feel her jagged breath, her anger. She bared all her teeth, lips drawn back in an animalistic snarl.

“You little _fucker_!” she hissed. “I _believed_ you! I _trusted_ you! And you… You…!!” Streams and streams of Russian left her mouth, assaulting Bruce with their ferocity and anguish. She screamed, her voice cutting deeper than any knife wounds, any bullets. He closed his eyes, letting her fury and her grief wash over him, reminding him of what he had done. She was probably saying the same things that he told himself in English before going to sleep every night.

Then the fit of rage was over, and she released him, allowing him to fall to the ground almost in a boneless manner. She glared at him, spat out another Russian word that he had no doubt was something insulting, and she left.

It took him two minutes to center himself and force himself to stand. In another two minutes, he had grabbed everything he needed (“Travel light. Always have your things ready to travel in an emergency bag. Leave everything that can be bought again,” Clint’s voice whispered from his memory). Without a single glance back at the shack, he left the place, his job, and the state.

2.  
Getting a job in a restaurant was a lot simpler than most people realized. Granted, he was just the grunt worker who did the heavy lifting, but he figured that it was the thought that counted. All he had to do was show up, move some heavy things, clean a few windows and dishes, and get paid. Everything was done in the style of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ in the aspect that as long as you could work, they didn’t ask you why you needed to be paid in cash or keep track of you at all.

And as long as Bruce had cash at the end of the day, then everything worked out for the best, didn’t it?  
*  
 _“One of the many jobs that undercover operatives overlook is the jobs that illegal immigrants get,” Clint explained. He pointed towards the back of a restaurant, where some people were wiping the window while cursing under their breaths. “Since they can’t get work legally, the works that they get are never recorded. It’s the perfect place for getting work when you need to stay hidden from someone like Tony Stark.”_

_“That makes sense,” Bruce said uncertainly. He looked at the people and shook his head. “But aren’t these jobs illegal for a reason?”_

_“Hey, as long as it keeps you undetected, that’s all that matters, right? Just look for businesses owned by immigrants. But always be careful when you do. You never know if it’s going to be a scam and you’ll be in a bigger shit or not.”_  
*  
Bruce worked at the restaurant for the total of three days before he was tracked down. Phil Coulson was waiting for him at the back, holding a thick folder with a deeply set frown on his face. Judging from the way the lines around his mouth tensed, Bruce knew that Phil knew about what he had done to Clint.

Bruce closed his eyes for a second and relaxed his jaw, ready for the agent to punch him if he so chose. However, no punch came. Phil did not say a word either. Instead, he just handed the folder over to Bruce and walked away, his muscles taut under the suit.  
*  
Back in the small room that he rented from a family whose eldest had left for college, he flipped through the folder’s contents, unsure of what he would find. Was it something to convince him to return to Avengers tower? Was it about Clint? Was it about SHIELD and how they don’t want him to roam around freely without constant supervision? Oh gods, what if it was about-?

“Deadpool,” he read out loud. “Deadpool Watch Logs.”

A quick skimming assured him, yes, this was about Wade Wilson. It was about how Wilson was suspected to have murdered the following list of people, how Wilson was probably involved in the theft of some intel of a big named organization, how Wilson, when not working, was traveling from place to place at the oddest of intervals, and how Wilson, in all accounts, seemed to be alone.

Alone? But what about Clint?

“Guesses,” he told himself. “These are all guesses. They don’t matter. I can’t start caring. Why did Coulson give me these anyways?”

Sighing softly, he threw the files into the trash. Then he grabbed his emergency bag and left.

3.  
Was he becoming obvious or something? Because the biggest blow to his pride was finding Captain America standing before his motel room, looking clearly distressed.

“I haven’t even gotten a job yet,” Bruce told him. It was true. He had checked into the motel, bought himself some tea, and was going to enjoy it while hunting for a job when Steve knocked on the door.

Steve gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Bruce,” he said. “Clever haircut, by the way. Can I come in? We need to talk.”

Bruce nodded reluctantly and opened the door wider.  
*  
Bruce sat on the bed while Steve sat on the uncomfortable looking chair. They looked at each other, both dreading what’s to occur but also unsure where to begin. Steve fidgeted slightly, and Bruce wondered if he should tell the Captain what he told Natasha. Or perhaps she had already told the rest of the team? She wasn’t the type to go around telling people everything, but this was about Clint. And the Avengers as a team treated him terribly.  
*  
 _“Clint, why are you teaching me how to stay hidden all of a sudden?” Bruce asked finally._

_The archer froze in mid-step for a split second before putting his foot down. There was a pause of three seconds before he turned to look at Bruce with a half-hearted grin. “Just in case, you know?”_

_“In case?”_

_“In case I’m not around to help you. In case things… go drastically wrong.”_

_“You don’t have to plan for those kinds of things, Clint,” Bruce told him softly._

_The archer just shook his head. “Part of the training. It’s kind of engrained in me. Humor me?”_

_“By any chance, this isn’t about Loki, is it?” From the way Clint flinched and tensed, Bruce knew without a doubt that that was the case. He sighed softly. “It’s not going to happen again, Clint. You’re not going to hurt anyone.”_

_“It’s not about that,” Clint said, shaking his head. “It’s… what if I betray everyone again? What if Natasha isn’t around to reconfigure my head? What if I kill more people? More friends? What if I sell out everyone’s secret information? What if-”_

_“We can’t live in a world of ‘what if’s,” Bruce said softly. He gently took Clint’s hand. “Why don’t we go and buy some tea? It’ll help relax you.”_

_The archer hesitated for a second before he allowed an uncertain smile to grace his lips. “Alright,” he said softly. Then the moment paused, and Clint was grinning like the excited little kid he was. “You know, one of these days, those teas are going to get you into trouble!”_  
*  
“Would you like some tea?” Bruce offered.

Steve chuckled lightly at that. “You know, that’s how we tracked you down. Because you always buy the special Indian brand tea. Tony just tracked anyone who bought that brand, and it just so happens that where Natasha and Coulson’s visiting place matched with a certain buyer’s location.”

Seriously? They tracked him using tea? He wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or annoyed. He knew what Clint would say or do in this kind of situation. Clint would laugh loudly and shake his head. He would pat Bruce on the shoulder with a simple, “Tough luck. Told you the tea will get you into trouble!”

“Did you guys ever think that maybe I wanted to be alone?” Bruce asked softly.

“It… did occur,” Steve admitted. “But I figured you would prefer to talk to me over Tony.”

“And that’s my choice? Talking to you or Tony? Why can’t I just be alone?”

“Because this isn’t healthy. You can’t just hide forever from everything that happened, Bruce. You can’t just tuck your tail behind you and run.”

“Why not? It worked well so far, hasn’t it?”

“Did it really work?” Steve asked. His eyes looked at Bruce almost pityingly. The doctor looked away. “Are you feeling better now that you’re here? Is everything all shiny and new for you? Nothing is going to be solved, Bruce. You have to work to solve problems. Hiding it or yourself isn’t going to lessen the guilt.”

Ah. So Natasha did tell them. Bruce smiled bitterly. “It beats being reminded every day. I should have told him from the start. I shouldn’t have lied to him. I should have held him, asked him to give me a chance. I should have believed him! I shouldn’t have let him go. I should have… should have… If I had done half the things that I should have done, then maybe he’ll still be at the Avengers Tower. Maybe he wouldn’t have ended up betraying everyone.”

“We all make mistakes,” Steve reasoned, his eyes reflecting his own guilt and shame. “Sometimes things just don’t work out. But instead of running away from those mistakes, you should be charging forward. ”

“Charging forward to what?”

“For one thing, tracking down Clint. Fix this mistake.”

“Right, because that’s going to make SHIELD stop trying to kill him,” Bruce spat back, remembering all too well Nick Fury’s cold determination. “He’s with Deadpool now, remember? And I’m sure SHIELD wants to hang them both by their necks. And maybe me, too, now that I’m no longer useful to them.”

“Leave SHIELD to us,” Steve pleaded. “Find Clint. Work things out between you.”

Bruce shook his head. “What makes you think that I can even find Clint? SHIELD hasn’t killed him yet; that alone speaks volumes for his abilities. How am I even going to know where to start?”

“Natasha said that Clint taught you tricks. He probably said something to you. A place he liked to go to, somewhere that he likes to visit, small things like that. Bruce, we can make this work out.”

“Why are you doing this?” Bruce demanded finally. “What does it matter to you?”

Steve looked wounded at the questions. He looked down at his hands for a beat, looked up at Bruce, his mouth open as if ready to say something but then seemed to change his mind. Instead, he stood up with a heavy sigh. He walked towards the door, head hung low and his feet dragging all the way. At the doorway, he paused to look at Bruce in the eye.

“I’ve lost many soldiers during the war,” he said. “I’ve watched my friend fall to his death for the sake of victory. I don’t want to lose any more people in times of peace.”

He hesitated a little bit. “Even if you don’t want to patch things up, I… We as the Avengers have a lot of making up to do for Clint. So if you have any idea where he might be…”

Bruce shook his head. “He didn’t tell me anything.” Then he remembered Coulson’s visit, remembered the folders… “But I’d recommend that you start with Wade Wilson. He’s bound to know something.”

Steve smiled, but it was strained. Like he wasn’t too sure of himself. “Thanks. And if you ever-”

“No,” Bruce said firmly. “I can’t.”

Captain America did not question him. He just left. Two hours later, Bruce also left the motel with the promise that he was never going to buy tea again.

4.  
He had two weeks of silence. In the last week, he spent working at a construction site. He had a cozy condo to return to every night. And every night, he was hounded by nightmares of guilt and his own thoughts. The recent visits of the people he had known had thrown things into new perspective, but still nothing made sense. Despite having left, Clint Barton still occupied most of his life.  
*  
 _“You’re in the lab too long!” Clint complained as he poked at the lab equipment with carelessness that made Bruce wince from just watching._

_“I’m almost done, Clint,” Bruce promised. “Just three more hours…”_

_“Three more-?! Freckles, that’s not cute at all. Have you even eaten since you started working this morning?”_

_“I ate breakfast,” Bruce reminded. “And you brought me some gummy snacks.”_

_“You did not just call Sour Patch Kids ‘some gummy snacks!’ Bruce, shame on you! Just for that, we’re going to go to the store right now and buy every single ‘gummy snacks’ they have so you can compare them to the heaven that is Sour Patch Kids!”_

_With that declaration, Clint tugged at Bruce’s arm. “C’mon! It’ll be fun!”_

_If it had been anyone else, Bruce would have shrugged them off and ignored them. But when Clint made those puppy eyes at him and whined, the doctor, just like every Avenger and SHIELD agent, found himself caving in._

_They returned a good six hours later, hyper on sugar and laughing at jokes that weren’t even all that funny. Bruce wouldn’t realize it until much later, but he had left his lab and his experiments willingly. Then and even now, he couldn’t come up with a single reason why that was bad when Clint smiled so brightly._  
*  
Bruce was done with work for the night. He had told his fellow coworkers that he wasn’t going to be joining them for drinking. With a polite wave and a duck of the head, Bruce was out of the construction site and making his way towards his condo. He was a few minutes off when he was ambushed in the dark alley.

Someone held a sword to his neck, and even before the person spoke, Bruce had a faint guess as to who it was. They held him so that their front was against Bruce’s back, the sharp end of the blade nearly touching the doctor’s neck.

“Scream if you dare, doctor,” the person whispered. “It’ll make the scene much more interesting to read.”

“Deadpool,” Bruce greeted in a flat tone of voice.

The masked man released Bruce and turned him around so that they were now face to mask. Wade Wilson jabbed a finger at Bruce’s chest.

“Don’t take that tone with me. I told you why you should leave Clint alone, didn’t I? I told you that you don’t get to turn around and decide that you want him now.”

Bruce looked at him confused. “I’m not looking for him,” he told Deadpool.

Wade just snorted. “Right. And you expect me to believe that? If you’re not searching for him, then why are the Avengers and all of SHIELD sniffing around me?”

“Well, SHIELD’s wanted to kill you for a while now. And they also want to kill Clint, who they suspect is with you,” Bruce pointed out. “And the Avengers have their own sins to confess to.”

“And you don’t?”

Bruce looked away, his fists clenching unconsciously. “I know better than to approach Clint.”

“My god, you are so full of shit.”

The doctor’s attention snapped back to the man in mask, who was shaking his head as he sheathed the sword.

“You, Bruce Banner, are one of the shitiest people I’ve ever met, and believe me; I’ve met quite a lot. How the hell did you get Clint to be so infatuated with you? Did you pull shit like this to Betty? Because if you did, then I see why she left you.”

“What are you talking about? What shit?”

“You’re supposed to _chase after them_!” Wade hissed. “When someone’s walking away from you, you’re supposed to chase them, beg for forgiveness, and shower them with love! Why do you think people purposefully pick fights in stable relationships? They want to know that they’re still loved, that it’s not just one-sided. And when they start walking away from you, you apologize, no matter whether you think you did right or wrong. You just apologize.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed. “But you told me…”

“Fuck what I told you! Fuck what anyone says! Go after Clint, you fucktard! He’s waiting for you, damn it! He’s rejected every move I’ve made on him because of you. You hurt him, you lied to him, and you prefer someone else over him, but he still wants you! _It’s always you._ ”

The last sentence was spat out in the lowest of whispers, but Bruce caught it. How could he not? Clint was waiting for him? But that made no sense! Bruce betrayed him and lied to him. Clint should hate his guts. Clint had every right to go off with Deadpool. And yet he wasn’t? Why? It made no sense at all.

His confusion must have been clear because Wade let out a loud frustrated growl and jabbed his finger at Bruce’s chest again.

“Do you or do you not love Clint Barton?”

Did he? Bruce knew what love felt like. He fell in love with Betty after all. But what he felt for Clint was different. What he had with Clint had been easier, simpler. Or had that just been the circumstances of the love? He pursued Betty while Hulk Busters were trying to kill him. He was with Clint when things were fine and all he had to worry about really was whether Tony would shock him again while they were in the lab together. But whatever feelings he harbored for the archer wasn’t love. It couldn’t have been, because it felt nothing like the love he felt for Betty.

Seeing the confusion, Wade snorted. “He’s not going to wait forever, shithead.” And with that as his goodbye, he disappeared into the night, leaving Bruce alone and even more confused.

5.  
A soft sigh escaped his lips as he opened the door to his condo. He saw a glimpse of a person before said person slapped him hard across the face.

“You are an _idiot!_ ” she screeched as she began to rain her fists against his chest. “What were you thinking? What are you doing? Why are you here?”

“Betty…? What? How are you even here?”

In the corner of his eyes, he saw a flash of red, and he knew without a doubt that Natasha had something to do with this. Well fuck. He supposed he had this coming, though. Especially since the assassin had told him once long ago about breaking Clint’s ex’s.

“That’s not the issue right now,” Betty said. She pulled Bruce into the room and locked the door behind them. “You are in so much trouble, Robert Bruce Banner!”

“I… okay… But uh…” He had never been the elegant one, especially not in front of a raging Betty. “How’s your marriage?”

“It’s fine, thanks for asking. And it would have continued to be fine if not for a certain stupid ex of mine that refused to take my advice and went off running! What were you thinking?! And on top of all the shit you’ve managed to pile up, you’ve also pushed Clint away! How could you, Bruce? Even after I clearly told you to keep him close! Even after I told you not to moon over me! I’m married, Bruce. _Married!_ You can’t keep doing this.”

She sounded so worried, so stressed, and Bruce couldn’t help but to feel bad. He knew better than offer a hug, so he just held up his hands in a nonthreatening manner as he could manage. “Betty,” he said, “Calm down.”

“Calm? How can I be calm?” she demanded. “Clint was nice, Bruce! Clint treated you right. Clint was sweet and charming, and he might not have been a scientific genius, but he was still amazingly smart. He tried to make you happy. He tried so very hard. And on top of everything, he loved Hulk! He wasn’t afraid of Hulk the way I was at times when Hulk got a little too angry. He wasn’t afraid to stand up to tell Hulk or you what was right and wrong. He was in love with you, damn it! He loved you! You and your science and Hulk! All of you!”

“I know,” Bruce forced out. “I know.” It was the same thing that he had been telling himself every night, reminding himself of what he had lost. It was the same thing that Wade had waved in front of him, hissing out his words while glaring down at Bruce with that scarred face.

“Then what is your problem?” she asked, anger giving way to exhaustion. “Why did you hurt Clint like this?”

“Because…” He gulped. “Because I’m not sure if I love him.”

Betty let out a loud exclamation of frustration and threw her arms up in the air. “What do you mean, you’re not sure? Of course you love him! You light up when he’s nearby! You start smiling when you’re detailing the little things that Clint did that day. You started eating breakfast because of him! You actually leave the lab when he asks you to! You willingly go out to eat, even if it means you just stare at him as he eats, because you’re vegetarian and he had a meat craving! You’re always laughing and smiling when he’s with you! You look like you can finally relax. And don’t even get me started on Hulk!”

“But that’s not the love that I felt when I was with you! The love for Clint is different. It’s… strange. And not at all like how it felt when I was in love with you,” Bruce said, his voice taking on a pleading tone.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, you were never _in_ love with me? And that the love you felt for me becomes overshadowed by what you feel for Clint?” Betty’s voice was soft, comforting. Almost like a promise, almost like a prayer. “Because you actually, truly love him?”

No, Bruce never thought about that. He never thought about it because it never occurred to him that he might love the archer back. But that meant…

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, because damn it! Wade Wilson was right. And Wade Wilson (and Thor and most of the Avengers before the mess clogged up their view) had all seen it when he had closed his eyes to it. Bruce opened his eyes.

“I need to find Clint.”

+1.  
“But how are you going to locate him?” Betty asked, worried. “I mean, I’m glad that you are, but it’s just… Even Natasha said that she was having trouble finding him.”

“Wade Wilson knows something,” Bruce explained. “I’m going to start from there. And I’m going to go through all of my memories with Clint. Steve’s right, Clint must have said something to me. I just have to remember it.”

There was the smallest pause as Betty tilted her head to the side. “You know,” she said softly, a fond smile growing at her lips. “This is the first time I’ve seen you look this excited for something that’s not science-related.”

She left “ _There’s yet another proof that you love him,_ ” unspoken.  
*  
He had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He didn’t know how to contact Deadpool or how to find him. There was absolutely nothing that would allow him to find Clint, especially since even Natasha and SHIELD couldn’t manage it. All he had now were Natasha glaring at him from against the wall and Betty giving him what she probably thought was encouraging smiles. All he had were the overwhelming feelings of anger and annoyance all directed at himself for being so blind, for not realizing soon enough, for hurting Clint, for letting Clint leave with Wade. All he had was this condo and the stupid job as a construction worker and-

Construction worker.

_“So what job would you take if you had to go undercover for a long time?” Bruce asked._

_Clint looked thoughtful as he chewed on his burrito. “That’s a good question,” he said with his mouth full. When Bruce gave him a withering look, Clint smiled sheepishly and quickly swallowed. “Probably construction.”_

_“Construction?”_

_“Yeah, I had to remodel some houses for an undercover mission before, and it was a lot of fun. I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” Then Clint grinned widely and put the burrito down to lean closer to Bruce. “Of course, this choice might have to do with the fact that I get to work shirtless. It’s not every day I get to walk around shirtless while making money! SHIELD’s bit of a prude like that.”_

“Natasha,” Bruce called, his eyes wide with realization. “Please tell me that you also have a copy of the Deadpool Watch Log.”

She nodded slowly. “I do, but…?” She handed the file over at his demand, frowning. Betty just cheered them on in the background.

Bruce quickly flipped through the folder, looking for all the places that Wade Wilson had stayed, especially when he wasn’t working. “These addresses,” Bruce said pointing at them. “They’re the hint.”

The Black Widow gave him a dirty look. “You think we haven’t looked into that already? There’s absolutely nothing that ties Wilson down to any of those places. We can’t use them to predict where he’s going to be going. He’s traveling randomly and he’s traveling alone. You won’t find Clint through this.”

Bruce shook his head no. “I know you probably hate my guts right now, but I need you to listen to me, Natasha. I don’t have the resources to look it up myself. Can I have your promise that you will share the details with me? That you’ll let me talk to Clint?”

Her jaws set tight and she looked ready to disagree when Betty came to Bruce’s rescue. “I know you’re hurting,” she said soothingly. “And I know Clint’s hurting too. But that’s more the reason why they need to talk this out. Neither of them will accomplish anything if they continue hiding. Please. Help Bruce for Clint.”

“I hate you both,” she declared. But with the briefest pause for a deep breath, she looked at Bruce, her green eyes fierce. “Alright. What do you want?”

“Information. Check every single of the addresses that Wade Wilson had been and look for construction work. It can be for new buildings, renovations, remodeling, anything. But that’s our hint. We’ll find Clint through this.”  
*  
“If whistling was an Olympic sport, I would win a Gold medal every time,” Gus Maitland declared as he continued to whistle the theme of _House M.D._ for the rest of the construction workers to hear.

They shook their heads at him, telling him to focus on work. But he could hear the amusement in their voice, so he returned to pouring cement while whistling merrily.

Gus Maitland was far from an outsider in the group of construction workers. But he was by far the oddest one out. He laughed when a joke was funny, and he knew how to have a good time. But there were times when Gus would look off into the distance, as if waiting for someone. And on some nights, when the guys all went out to get drunk at the bar, Gus would become completely smashed and started calling for someone named “Bruce.” Then a weird guy that none of the workers have ever been introduced to would appear and take him home.

They never asked.

Well, it wasn’t like they wanted to know. If Gus was into other guys, then as long as he kept it to that mystery guy, it was fine, wasn’t it? It also wasn’t like he was a bad worker. He made work go by fast with his lame jokes and laughter. Frankly, he wasn’t a bad guy to have around. Sure he had a few secrets here and there, but didn’t everyone?

Looking back, they really regretted not asking him.  
*  
“Holy shit!” someone shouted in the background.

Gus agreed. “Get down!” he yelled at them. “Or get away right now!”

They ignored him and continued to gawk at the scene unfolding in front of them. Gus supposed that he couldn’t blame them, but he couldn’t help but to curse at them. Didn’t they realize how dangerous this situation was? Didn’t they realize that this wasn’t a joke?

Then Hulk roared again and brought his fists down harshly on either side of Gus. Gus could feel the giant’s breath, short and angry puffs of air that warmed Gus’s bare chest. He offered a meek smile.

“Hey there, Big Guy,” he said uncertainly. “Been a while.”

“Cupid left!” Hulk yelled, and Gus barely held back a flinch at the loud noise. Instead he held up his hands to show that he meant no harm.

“I know. It was really selfish. And I really should have said goodbye to you first. But things just got… really complicated.”

Hulk let out a low growl that rumbled down his chest and caused the ground under Gus to shake a little. “Cupid left with Talking Man. And Tiny Banner is stupid.”

“Talking…? Oh, you mean Wade? He’s not bad, Hulk. He’s just… overly friendly.”

The giant let out a soft whine. He nudged at Gus almost gently. “Not Hulk. Jade Jaws.”

Gus opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was frozen on his lips and he hung his head. “That’s low,” he grumbled. “That’s just so fucking low. I can’t do this. Don’t do this to me.”

“But Hulk loves Cupid.” As if to prove this point, Hulk reached out and pulled Gus to his bosom.

The man was shaking slightly in Hulk’s arms, which confused the giant greatly. Cupid had never been scared before. Cupid never shook. Hulk nudged at Gus again, being careful not to hurt the smaller man.

“You’re a great guy, Hulk,” Gus said finally, pulling away from the hug. “But I can’t do this again. Okay? I mean, I know better. Bruce likes Betty, and that’s okay. I would like a pretty girl like her any day over someone as screwed up as me. And I get it. You’re not making it easier on Bruce either, Big Guy. We just have to let go. I’m not Cupid anymore, and you’re not Jade Jaws.”

“Cupid is Cupid,” Hulk insisted. “And Hulk is Jade Jaws.”

“Don’t you get it? I can’t go back. I betrayed everyone, Hulk. I took their trust and put it through a fucking blender. And to make it worse, this isn’t even the first time I did something like this. I keep betraying them. And I can’t do that. I’m supposed to be part of the team. And teammates don’t betray each other and leave them to dry.”

“Teammates don’t smash team,” Hulk added. “But Hulk smash Goldilocks. Hulk smash Cap and Tin Man, too. Cupid is Cupid.”

“But I-”

“It’s no use trying to convince him of anything, Clint. He’s stubborn as hell. Banner’s one crafty son of a bitch. He transformed to make sure that you two had some time alone together. It probably didn’t help,” Natasha stated as she approached the two. She didn’t come within Hulk’s arm distance, however. She just stood back, giving him a stern gaze that gave nothing away yet told him all he needed to know. “Or should I be calling you Gus now?”

Gus – No– Clint gulped. “Clint’s fine,” he told her. “Is everyone…?”

“All here? Yup,” Tony Stark declared as he confidently made his way to stand by Natasha. “Fancy seeing you here, Legolas. Didn’t think you’d actually be caught dead in a place like this. Also, Gus? That was the best name you could come up with? Lame!”

It was probably the closest thing to an apology Clint was going to get from Tony at this moment in time. Steve, Thor, and Phil made their way over to join Natasha.

“Archer,” Thor said gravely. “It has indeed been too long.”

“Hey Clint,” Steve said tiredly. “How have you been?”

“Barton,” Phil said. He looked like he wanted to add more, but a look from Tony quickly shut him up.

Odd. Phil Coulson shutting up because of a glance from Tony Stark? If the situation wasn’t what it was, Clint would have laughed and made fun of the agent.

“Well, Wade’s protection couldn’t have lasted forever… I suppose you’re all here to kill me then? After all, I’m-”

“You are Clinton Francis Barton, Hawkeye the World’s Greatest Marksman,” Natasha began.

“An amazing Avenger and friend,” Steve stated.

“A reckless SHIELD agent with no regard for personal safety,” Phil added.

“A warrior through the thick and thin with a heart of gold,” Thor said.

“A class A snarky asshole, just like myself,” Tony mentioned.

“Cupid,” Hulk said simply.

Clint closed his eyes, trying to understand what was happening. Why was this happening? Why did they track him down now? What did they want from him? He couldn’t stay with them. He explained it clearly, didn’t he?

“And before any apologizes can be said, we have to something more important to take care of,” Tony declared. “If you would, Captain?”

Steve nodded. He took a tentative step forward, but a low growl from Hulk prevented him from getting any closer. Figuring that the distance shouldn’t affect what he was about to say, he turned to Clint to speak.

“I believe your side of the story still remains untold. If you would, Clint?”  
*  
The next time Bruce Banner awoke, he was in a clean apartment room. He was fully dressed and lying on the only bed in the room. By the bedside, there was a chair with a paperback book on it. Bruce tilted his head, trying to read the title.

Then the door opened and Clint stood there, frozen at the sight of Bruce. The doctor wondered if Clint had stayed by his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. His heart ached at the thought.

“Hey,” Bruce offered with a hesitant smile.

It took the archer a few minutes before he unfroze himself. He nodded slowly and made his way across the room towards the chair. Moving the book, he sat there, fiddling his fingers uncomfortably.

“I wanted to apologize,” Bruce said when Clint didn’t speak up. “I’ve put you through hell. I never took your thoughts and feelings into account. I should have told you the truth. I should never have gotten so angry at you at the café. I shouldn’t have been an idiot and a pighead, because that was exactly what I was. I-”

“Why are you doing this?” Clint asked, cutting the rant short. “You made yourself pretty clear back then, you know. And Deadpool’s timing was perfect enough to get me out of it.”

“Because…” Bruce paused to wet his lips, building courage in the small amount of time. This was it. He was finally going to tell Clint the truth. “I love the way your eyes lit up when you looked at me. I love the way you laughed at my dry jokes, the way your eyes crinkled and shone. I love the way your attention was focused on me, as if I was the only person in the whole world that mattered. I love the way you woke me up in the morning just so that I could start the day with the most important meal. I love the way you dragged me out of the lab, no matter how silly the reason. I love the way you always put me first, always made me feel like I mattered. I love the way you whisper to me your secrets, like I deserve to know them. I love the way you didn’t care to make me angry, the way you so easily stood up to the Other Guy.”

He sighed softly, contentedly. “I love that you treated me like a human.”

Clint wasn’t looking at him. He was glaring at the corner of the room, his teeth gritting, his fists clenched.

“But mostly, I just really love you.”

That grabbed Clint’s attention. His head whipped back, his dark gray eyes found their target and locked on. Bruce offered a small smile as his peace offering. Then he waited. He did not get angry as he did so long ago in the café. He did not yell, he did not push the blame on Clint. He just waited. Because that was something Bruce was good at when it came to Clint, and that was something that he should have done so many nights ago. He had to wait.

“Too little too late,” Clint gritted out. “If you had told me that a year ago, I would have believed you. Hell, I think I would have believed you half a year ago. But right now? After all that’s happened? You told me that I was a fucking attention-deprived freak, SHIELD wants to kill me, the Avengers all hated my guts, Phil thought I was a traitor, and even Natasha thought I was the worst prick in the world. And you want me to accept your confession like none of that happened? Like you didn’t break my heart first?”

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said. “I’m so very sorry for all the shit that I put you through. And I’m a terrible person, I know. Deadpool’s accurate when he described me as the shittiest person he knows. But you have to know. No… You have the right to know. You have to know because since that moment in the café, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. You’re all that I see and you’re all that I can remember. When I close my eyes, I see your eyes. When I’m alone, I hear your voice. When I’m lying awake in bed, I can smell your scent. You’re driving me crazy, Clint!”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I needed for you to hear me say it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry and I love you. I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Clint did not reply. He just abruptly stood and hurried away, almost as if he couldn’t be happier to be out of the room. But he didn’t kick Bruce out of the apartment. Neither did he kick any of the Avengers or Phil out. Clint allowed them to stay in the small apartment, all cramped together in the tiny space that probably made Tony Stark have an episode if not for the fact that Stark was also trying to make amends.

From time to time, they were greeted with Wade Wilson’s presence as well. He would look at everyone and make some joke that either confused people or made them want to kill him. All in all, Bruce thought that the Avengers got along surprisingly well with the merchant.

Of course, absolutely nothing was solved. SHIELD still wanted to kill Clint. There was no hard evidence that could save him from that. But now with both Natasha and Phil back on his side, they were able to foil SHIELD’s attempts from getting too close. Wade Wilson still flirted with Clint and tried to woo him every chance he got, always throwing vindicated looks at Bruce. But Bruce never missed the fact that the archer refused all advances.

All of their friendship (with each other and with Clint as well) was still rocky.

Phil didn’t seem to know how to act around Clint. He was always awkward, trying to start a conversation, but never getting very far. For Bruce, however, Phil just tensed up and glared at him. But Phil never said anything. He never acted out.

Natasha and Clint was being back to being friends, but everyone could see the almost visible strains in their relationship, the way they just didn’t click anymore. She acknowledged Bruce’s presence, but he knew that she still hadn’t forgiven him and probably never would. He thought that that was only fitting.

Steve tried to offer himself as a punching bag, but it must not have helped much because the next hour, Clint was walking around with bruised ribs and a black eye while Steve followed him around, apologizing. His friendship with Bruce was probably the best, however. Steve seemed to understand, despite everything, and he gladly stood by the doctor, even when Bruce had nothing to say.

Tony Stark probably apologized to Clint, but no one was quite sure. But everyone knew that when a random gadget turned up, it was Tony’s way of trying to atone for his guilt, for standing by Bruce’s side despite the fact that Clint was the victim. Despite that, Tony never took it out on Bruce. He just gave Bruce disappointed looks from time to time, but then would just throw his arms around Bruce’s shoulders as if to say, “We’ll get through this.”

Perhaps what was the most surprising was Thor’s relationship with Clint. The two would sit together and talk, and for whatever reasons, they would just work. Thor was surprisingly wise about emotional rollercoasters and Clint loved having an ear to listen to him when he needed to get things off his chest. With Bruce, however, it was just as if nothing had ever happened.

It was almost enough to make Bruce jealous.

But he had his own bridges to fix. The Avengers were all doing their best to make up for turning their backs on Clint; Bruce couldn’t lag. So every morning, he forced himself awake as early as he could to make breakfast. He then left it on the counter with a simple note that said, “I’m sorry.” And when Clint was off to his construction job, he would find various notes of “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s all over his things throughout the day. And when Clint returned, he would come home to more hidden notes.

Bruce didn’t know if this actually did anything. But he did spot Clint smiling softly at one of the notes and putting it in his pocket. He spotted Wade rolling his eyes and muttering, “Finally!” He saw Natasha giving him a cold look and Phil’s eyes blazing with anger. He saw Thor talking to Clint encouraging. Tony helped sneak more notes around the small apartment, and Steve gave him a thumb up.

For now, that would have to be enough. And who knew? Perhaps in a year, a decade, or perhaps at the end of their lifetime, Clint would finally forgive him. The Avengers might finally be a team again.

Until then, Bruce would continue slipping hidden notes.

“I’m sorry,” he would write in one.

“I love you.”


End file.
